God's Own

 2024 was a year when God called me a lot. My wedding was at a sacred place where the believers dream of organizing weddings. And then, the God’s Own Country called me not once, but twice after a gap of 16years(longer than vanvas). Though I was 14 years old, I don’t remember the details of most my school ‘excursion’ trip. I fell sick, had a fall out with ‘friends’, locked out one of my classmates and had explosive diarrhea on my train back home.

Anyway, so not exactly a trip to remember. But I liked the places that we visited, though I do not remember their names. I remember the beaches, the Guruvayur and Padmanabhaswamy Temple, Sunset and sunrise point of Kanyakumari, some National Park, some waterfalls, the boat houses of Alappuzha and the non-existent toilets.  This was September of 2008, the monsoon of my last school year. It was kind of freeing in some way, I stopped pretending to fit in and tried to make a mark of my authentic self.

And fate(of this universe) would have it, my first ever post-wedding travel was a work visit to Trivandrum.  I had good company, we walked the streets of this small city and walked on the beach. It felt good to see the west coast after about six months. I sometimes miss my people there, sometimes a lot. So here I was in a palace/banquet hall with my husband’s name on it. I was doing one of my favourite things growing up, quizzing. I didn’t really realised how much I missed it unless I got to become audience for it. (Maybe I was interested in UPSC for this very reason, I know it’s a long shot) The trip itself was quite interesting. Our onward flight got postponed only to get preponed later while our return flight was delayed by hours(someone said that I was ‘lucky’). I put a story on my Instagram about being back to Kerala after 16years, little did I know that I’d visit this state in another month’s time.

So, before I realised, I was flying again to Kerala (I squeezed a little trip with husband between my two Kerala trips). The best thing that morning was Hot Chocolate with Oat Milk at the airport(I tried this again after about three months and the taste wasn’t quite like before). I dressed mostly from my husband’s wardrobe, like he was also travelling with us. (or maybe because my wardrobe needs recharging). This was a more relaxed trip except for the drama leading up to the trip. This time around it was Kochi.

Two eventful days went by filled with lots of memories. The first day was spent in seeing the historic places of the city – Fort Kochi to be precise. The harbour was huge for my imagination, the streets were quaint, filled with untold history to be told.

Our first stop was a church in which Vasco Da Gama’s remains were first buried. The first recorded European to have found a way to India walked the streets of this place. My guess is that the place would have been deserted when he had arrived. Or may be not. The church had a plaque which gave a view about the church’s significance to us.

I wonder how history would turn out if it weren’t for this man to find his way to Malabar Coast. Columbus set out to find India and set foot in America (he didn’t really know it was America/New World though) How would the trajectory of the world history if these two discoveries were made in a different timeline? Maybe the genocide of Native Americans, Slave Trade and other notoriously inhumane actions would have been less intense, if not avoided completely. What about the discoveries which would have saved more lives if they were made earlier? (the exclusion of women from education across the world robbed us of many pathbreaking discoveries) What about our personal journeys? Which one trip or conversation would have made or break things for us in our lives?

Talking about breaking things, I was known to break things around my home as a child. Something which I do not agree to, wholeheartedly. Now, I used to break things not on purpose but by accident. Like how accidentally I took a break while writing this travelogue and now we are still stuck at the church. What came next you ask? Chinese fishing nets, on which we didn’t spend much of our time. I also remember buying a fridge magnet and Pikachu keychain. Then there were lot of photographs by the harbour. I am not a patient model, but I was with a very patient photographer who would not let go without couple of good shots. After a good walk we took some rest at the nearby park. As we sat down, two young people approached us asking if we would donate for pre-mature babies of India through a project of UNICEF. I signed up immediately cause I knew the financial impact of needing medical care for preemies. Time is so delicate, a little early or late and life is in danger. This holds true even before we come into this world.

Now I am going to go a little tangent from here. Those young volunteers asked us about marital status of me and my friend, to which, my friend aggressively replied saying that we were just colleagues and he was expecting his first baby. Now, two months after this incident, I took my partner to a doctor and the doctor asked what my relation was with him. I was not expecting this, I thought that we clearly looked like a couple to the world. I didn’t mind the question from the volunteers but the question from the doctor didn’t sit quite well. We can think of, in Indian Society people don’t really see opposite gender friendships thrive etc etc. But I am left to think why do I want the world to just assume relationship with my partner in all settings (even in an hospital?). Is it a remanent of my unmet need to be open about our relationship on social media? Or is it my want for people to pick on our 'partner vibes'. I do not know.

Coming back to Kochi, after my spontaneous and impulsive donation we head back to our hotel. We had a dinner to attend. The dinner was mostly forgettable but for the terrace setting. It was a reminder of my uneasiness in social settings (both professional and familial). We then head back to our rooms to enjoy the next day which also happened to be my sister’s birthday. The event was engaging, and the results were expected but surprising nevertheless. The next part was exciting – lunch on a boat/yacht. (though I did not have much of options to eat and my nausea was alive and kicking). I was surely once in a lifetime experience – I would definitely not want to do it again. The sea was calm, the birds were dancing in the sky and people were relieved after the successful close of the event. (However, my colleagues had questions about the succession planning. All it takes is a snap of Thanos.)

After our lunch time rendezvous, we took a few more pictures and started for the airport. On the way back we spoke about many hypothetical and historical event. It was like filling a oral ‘slam book’. The tiredness was taking a toll on my body. After a delayed flight and a ‘plane-mein-charcha’ I managed to set my foot back on the ground. Our ride back home was forgettable thanks to our cab driver. (I probably will not tip you if you feel entitled for it)

I do not know when will God call me to this side of the West Coast. I quite miss my Karmabhoomi too, mostly my people who made it easy for me. Maybe some other time I will write about my tryst with Maya Nagari. I remember swearing that I would not miss it. In my defence, I miss the good times and I am allowed to do so. But the feeling of alone in a crowded yet familiar place lingers on.

So if you were to ask me, Mountains or beaches? Beaches please. (cause I need respiration more than inspiration)