Ano Hana

 The flower we saw that day





When I watched it for the first time what caught my attention was the web of love interests. I thought how can kids so young have feelings of 'love'. I remember binge watching it in monsoon of 2014. I also remember my mother scolding me for doing so. I was not supposed to have screen time. I listened to its soundtrack in the summer of 2011 when my sister watched it. I didn't get what made people feel sentimental about it.

Cut to 2020 I realised how myopic I was. I completely missed the plotline of how these teenage kids try to cope with the loss of their friend and for some, their love. The way they somehow feel responsible for what had happened and they regret that they carry for acting the way they did. Each one of them trying to not face those feelings and finding an escape. And then she comes again in their lives five years later. Well, I think that she never really left, how can the ones we love leave us?

Slowly they come together as a group once again with the subtle markers of intimacy like using the old nicknames to fulfil her wish which left unfinished that day. And in that process, they struggle to come to terms with their feelings. The feeling of selfishness to not confront their feelings of love, jealousy and competition. Even as they try to fulfil the wish which they think is hers, they can't let go of these supressed emotions. And then they finally open up to each other, I got emotional at this part. It was intense - with Jintan regretting not accepting that he loved her and not getting a tomorrow to apologize, Anaru feeling good about Jintan denying his love for Menma as she liked him, Yukiatsu feeling jealous because Menma didn't accept his love, Tsuruko's helplessness in not being noticed by Yukiatsu and feeling like third in line and Poppo who saw Menma struggle on that day and can't take that vision out of his head no matter where he goes. These are certainly heavy emotions for viewers to digest and process.

Then there is also how her family deals with their loss. The mother being stuck in the past and her hatred towards her daughter's friends for no fault of theirs, which is understandable . The brother feeling neglected as the living child. And finally the family coming together to deal with their emotions of sadness as her friends help in starting that conversation. The families of their friends let them be in a subtle way. Jintan's father not forcing him to attend school especially after his mother passes away. Anaru's mother helping her in reconnecting with Jintan. Not much is shown about the families of the other three.

Watching it after seven years with a different perspective brought a new meaning to me. For once, I didn't feel guilty for feeling the way I did. I also could relate how people deal with grief like this and how there is no one way or a definite timeline. Also at some level I didn't feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to do things differently. And I understand that there are few things that'll remain with us throughout our lives, you carry the good and the bad we don't have a choice. 

There isn't a day when one doesn't think about the memories and 'what-ifs', but my only wish is to be talk about the good and maybe sometimes about the sadness. I do not want to shy away from remembrance. My life will be incomplete otherwise. 

Love for a friend, for a beloved, for a pet, for a mentor, for an idol, for family. Love really is the secret of eternity, beyond space and time, beyond the cycle of birth and death.

Few lines from Secret Base:

Aa hanabi ga yozora kirei ni saite chotto setsunaku

Aa kaze ga jikan to tomoni nagareru

Ureshikutte tanoshikutte boken mo irorio shita ne

Futari no himitsu no kichi no naka

Ah, the fireworks burst in the night sky so nicely, it kinda hurts

Ah, the wind flows by with the time

We had so many happy, fun adventures

Together in our secret base

Spotify playlist of the soundtrack : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Pwtkll2ZR7XGiJpQx3o1J?si=no5S0n-9SKG4rfWacT-0cg&utm_source=copy-link&dl_branch=1

PS: The anime also talks about reincarnation but I do not believe in it no matter how comforting it might seem to be.

If you have watched this anime let me know your experience of it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sounds of an Indian city

I was supposed to write about the ‘Honking Culture’ of India. When did it begin? How did it begin? I wonder. On the roads of the cities of this nation, it appears as if everyone is in a hurry. I do not know where is this sense of urgency coming from. Maybe people are late to work/school/college in the mornings and want to hurry back home in the evenings. But that would leave the afternoon without the orchestra of cacophony. But alas! These ears will not be spared. The villages have a slow-paced life they say. I am beginning to wonder if that is the right pace of living. Today, nothing short of instant is expected. Maybe the cities are saturated, there are just too many of us on the roads and the public transport doesn’t help much. I spent a good 26 years of my life living in a house that was on the main road. I was so used to the sounds of the vehicles that only when I would play my recorded videos and I’d realise the loud traffic noise that was the background music of my daily lif...
Read more

Language and Punishment

 Hello,  I happened to watch a documentary called 'Wisdom of Trauma' which moved me. It talks about how people take on addictions in the form of work, drugs, tobacco, sex, video games etc to feel better. People try to escape this reality which hurts them. The underlying intention of 'wanting to feel good/better' is what caught my attention. The escape that we choose, in my case I'd say I consume social media and also take writing as an escape from the reality. While this is unhealthy, but not demonised like other addictions, say smoking or drinking. I have been witness to what these addictions can do. And I realise why is it difficult to let go of these habits of escape. Help, addiction is but a cry for help. Next time, you use statements like 'I hate people who smoke/drink/do drugs', maybe think again. We tend to do self harm in different ways, but what we are in need of is help. I guess this is what it means to hate the sin and not the sinner. The other pr...
Read more

God's Own

 2024 was a year when God called me a lot. My wedding was at a sacred place where the believers dream of organizing weddings. And then, the God’s Own Country called me not once, but twice after a gap of 16years(longer than vanvas). Though I was 14 years old, I don’t remember the details of most my school ‘excursion’ trip. I fell sick, had a fall out with ‘friends’, locked out one of my classmates and had explosive diarrhea on my train back home. Anyway, so not exactly a trip to remember. But I liked the places that we visited, though I do not remember their names. I remember the beaches, the Guruvayur and Padmanabhaswamy Temple, Sunset and sunrise point of Kanyakumari, some National Park, some waterfalls, the boat houses of Alappuzha and the non-existent toilets.   This was September of 2008, the monsoon of my last school year. It was kind of freeing in some way, I stopped pretending to fit in and tried to make a mark of my authentic self. And fate(of this universe) would ...
Read more