Iris

Its been a long time since a song stuck with me like this song. It is titled 'Iris' by Goo Goo Dolls, for all the good and bad reasons, 'I/eye' seems to be a strong thread for this part of my life

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

The song starts of with sense of hope, desperation and it distinctly reminds me of times when I felt the time stand still like the new years' eve of 2017 or my 25th birthday. And now when I think of these moments I feel lucky that I got to experience them as I struggle with the present and hopelessly pine all my hopes on a tomorrow that'll be better. I do not want to go home alone tonight.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later, it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

The moments which I know will never repeat again in life. The times when I want to wrap the moment and keep it safely in my heart, when it seems like the sole reason that world was created was for this moment to occur. And as the moment starts to escape like sand from my grip, I can't help but want to live and love like there is no tomorrow. 

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Would you rather be misunderstood or not be understood? We spend all our lives trying our best to make others understand the 'me'. But do they really want to see 'us' or do they want to see the idea that they have of 'us'. But, in the end when all things end does it really matter at all? The world to me is you. So will you see me as I am?

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know, you're alive

The tears they come but they do not seem to bring out what they should, let go of things that they used to. This reality that seems more unreal than the lies that we tell ourselves. And what is life if the only thing that makes me alive is the pain that I experience. 

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I hope we get to show ourselves, express ourselves, our broken, mended selves to those who mean the world to us and maybe they'd understand.


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