Nostalgic High
Time and space, each of us experiences them differently individually and also differently throughout our lives. I feel like I live different lives in the different places I get to be, lives so distinct that it seems like I live in different worlds altogether. So when I got to travel to so many places in such a little span of time, it's safe to say that many things changed.
An escape from the one reality, to listen to my heart and not think about the non-existent future. I've always lived my life not thinking much about the future, I've been more of a looking back person. But now, I had to confront the possibility of the happening or non happening of a future which I once wished for. Why do I say 'wished' and not 'wish'? Cause I do not know anymore what I want. The possibility of it not happening makes my heart quiver. Do not get me wrong, I know for sure that whatever happens, life will keep moving on. But this confusion of sorts pushed me to think about what I really want for myself, what is it that I'm doing for myself.
With that background let's resume our travel to the city of Palaces. And talking of palaces, I forgot to mention that I visited a Palace in the temple town too. Maybe Palaces are more common than I previously thought they'd be. The travel to the city of Palaces wasn't very pleasant. Picture this, you are on your periods and you got to sit for 7 hours in a train, this is not what dreams are made of right? En route to the city, I got to step on to the city of my escape for a couple of minutes. And before reaching our final destination, I remember seeing a cremation ground, the place where we get taken to for our 'final destination'.
The palace didn't seem as majestic like it did to my memory. Yet again, there were pictures. I remember that we started late for the palace and I thought I'd miss seeing it again. After the palace, we headed to a hill top. There were many people, nothing to be surprised in India, but there were many school students out and about at that hour. The place was not as cold as I thought it’d be. It was a different experience, going through the streets of a place to which I might never come back again. I spotted many soft toys of Pikachu in the bazar there, but not one was like the Pikachu of my childhood. I was waiting for the time to pass, so that I could go back to the hotel and rest for the day. Surprisingly, I was doing better than I expected. Before boarding the bus, I managed to shop for a few goodies – a cute little buddha, hair accessories, ear rings and two wooden plaques of a great man(one of which is now with my new old friend).
I had good conversation about psychology and how I feel so small when look at the vast star filled skies. I’ll be honest I wanted to take rest but did not want to come back to my hotel room. But I had to and I had forgettable experience which left me filled with anger. (Its better not to talk about it) The next day I was about to get an opportunity of life time they said, to see how things are made, up and close.
It was an early morning. I dressed up a little different that day mostly because I was feeling good and beautiful after a long time. I did get to see many things that day. I found myself not be part of pictures but I think I’ve graduated to the stage of taking only selfies now. The most interesting part of the visit was guessing the mother tongue of people based on their English accent, I was looking out for only one language and I was right about it. It felt like I had a new skill, a skill which will not really help me in any commercial way but, definitely, in a fun way. Oh, I almost to forgot to mention that the sound and the noise sent my head in a place I never wish to go again. The smell though, it reminded me of many different days of my childhood.
The difference between this weekend and the previous weekend that we had lesser people in the bus and I liked it that way. We had a QnA session. And as always, I was in awe of the people who asked questions. To not hesitate in asking a question is one thing I want to be able to do in the near future. This particular day was quite different in a good way, I felt things which I never imagined I would. And it felt good. I do not know what was it, was it the nostalgia of the city where I’d been to with my family, the one of the two family trips that I remember.
In the evening, I got to go back to the Palace, this time I wanted to go for old time’s sake. My memories are certainly mixed up – I remember walking to gardens which were probably closed by the time we got there, I remember the closed gate of the Palace where we took pictures. Life was not simple even then. Anyway, cut to the present, we reached the Palace just in time for the light show. It was a beautiful sight to say the least. I love listening to stories, so I obviously enjoyed my time there. Between all this, I had a small adventure with my cab ride booking app. We wanted to go to the Church but guess what, drumroll please, it was closed for the day. I had a renewed revelation about my non-existing bargaining skills. We headed back for dinner where I had one of the most ‘I-don’t-know-what’s-
The next morning I got to watch a movie at like 9, I don’t think I’ve ever watched a movie that early in the morning before. We headed back to the hotel for lunch. And during lunchtime, the concept of by new birthday came up. I got to celebrate it by cutting a vegan cake (It wasn’t actually a cake, I guess) and singing songs loudly. I was feeling good. The feeling of finding potential new friends who’d be part of my life was setting in and also, the fact that there was not much time left to turn that potentiality to friendship was looming large in my head.
And, this was how the eventful weekend came to an end. What followed after this changed me. I had to start my quest to find the clarity about things, about what I want, what I need and the kind of future I should be looking forward to.
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